Friday, March 9, 2012

Locked And Loaded

This weekend is the “official” kick-off to my race season. The second race of the Southern Classic Series is this Sunday, but I missed the first one since I was out of town on vacation. This makes the second race the first.

You follow me?


I’ll be leaving the B-43 Worldwide Headquarters bright and early and heading up to Danville, VA, for the Shootout on Angler’s Ridge.

While I did pretty well in the Winter Series, I’m not sure I’m ready for a real cross country race yet. Sure, I’ve been riding a lot, but I wouldn’t really call it training. The only advantage I have is that this is my third year on this trail, so I should be a little bit familiar with it.


I’ve ridden it a total of two times in two years, and the only thing I remember about it is the parking lot. Oh yeah, I also remember that the trail has been wet as sloppy dog shit the past two races. One other thing that could have an effect on me is that Sunday morning we move our clocks one hour forward in honor of the first day of Daylight Savings Time.

Oh Joy.

I’m not making excuses. I’m really not, I swear. The course isn’t really that tough, and I’ve done okay when I raced there. However, I’m not really getting my hopes up for a podium finish or anything since it’s so early in the season. I know I’ll get better as the season goes on, so I shouldn’t really sweat this silly little race.

Am I still in? You betcha. I’m just trying to decide which bike to bring. I can bring my geared bike and really give it the ol’ college try, or I can bring my single speed bike and use it as a “training” race. Honestly, the training thing sounds a little more appealing since I probably don’t have a chance for a decent finish this early in the season.

What? Yeah, a little rant is forthcoming.

I’ll be racing against Clydesdales that barely make the weight requirement, and they sure as shit know it too. As for me, I’m weighing in at a svelte 233 pounds, which is eight pounds heavier than my in-season weight. The Clydesdale class isn’t just for fat boys (and I’m nowhere near that anyway), but some guys like to hop in there because they don’t stand a chance against the guys in their age group.

If a podium finish means that much to you, then go for it. I’ll see you later in the season when you are getting lazy and I’m hitting my stride anyway. People aren’t really honest with themselves as far as their abilities, and placing high in a class that they don’t belong in probably gets them off.

Fucking sandbaggers.

If you actually know me, then you probably know I’m not talking about you. I’m sorry for the rant, but I guess I’m in a foul mood. Last season, I took it a little too easy and still ended up in second place overall. This year I’m not playing around, even if I’m not quite ready at the start of the season.

As for the rest of you, it’s time to introduce you to my new motto:

Who gives a shit.

It’s not a question, it’s a statement.

I certainly don’t give a shit. When I’m out on the race course, I’m giving it all I have. It might not be as much as you and your seriousness, but if you try to take what’s mine I will crush you like a truck.

I'm just so obscene. You know, like Berzerker.

Yeah, it’s gonna be a long season and I’m not even close to ready.


Anonymous said...

Bring a scale!! I'll show ya that I can make that dial spin around at LEAST twice and then some!! LOL

Anonymous said...

Bring a scale Sunday!! I'll make that dial spin around twice and then some...just like that 12-sandwich-eating temptress from Hoboken on Price is Right!! LOL.... Dwayne

eastwood said...

not going to ride gears because you don't think you have a chance this early in the season?? Who gives a shit (I like the motto!!)

But in all seriousness, ride the gears and give those sandbaggers a run for their money

TheMutt said...

I'll probably bring both bikes and make my decision at the start line.