Bicycle Blogging

This is for real-time internet-bicycling discussions.

Yep, that’s what I do (mostly.) I likes to blog, and while my subject matter is mostly bicycling, I will talk about other things on occasion. Especially when it gets slow around here (like now.) I haven’t resorted to blogging about things that are too off-topic yet, but I’m sure it’s coming if I don’t start racing again soon. Fortunately for you, I have some more of my Internet Art Collection to share. I will, from time to time, whip out a few items from my glorious collection, even when it’s hopping around here.

Up first, Granny’s grocery getter has been converted to the Designated Driver for Bingo Night Machine. That’s right, Granny’s pal Bessie can get all liquored up at the Bingo hall, and she can get back to the nursing home without calling a cab. Maybe Granny doesn’t quite remember where she lives, but she’ll get somewhere safely.



Granny is so kind. She’ll bake you cookies when your drunken ass wakes up.

Did I mention a taxi? Why, yes I did. Check out this next item from some unnamed third-world country. Do you need a ride to get some water for your village? Drunk at the Bingo Hall? Well, if you can yell loud enough (I doubt they have phones), then you can contact this guy for a ride.


“Drop me off on the other side of this grassy field please.”

Did you take Shop class and fail? Not this next guy. At first glance he appears to have passed with flying colors (and all of his fingers, which is good for extra credit I guess.) Unfortunately, the glue he used to put it together was still on his hands, which means no test ride for you. The shop teacher is on his way with the saw to free our smiling friend. I can’t wait for that picture.


“I am a human kickstand.”

Our next subject is way too cool, but apparently he is not cool enough to get a real motorcycle. He obviously worked hard on his creation, but I bet the big boys still won’t let him play with them. Yes my friends, he rides alone. Outlaw, on a weirdo chopper-bicycle thingy. This would be funny, but it looks like he spent a lot of money on this contraption. So sad. Maybe he’s shopping for a lawnmower engine so he can join a real motorcycle club.


B-b-b-b-b bad. Bad idea.

Is your car on fire? Did you try to prepare some chicken flambé and all you ended up with was flambé? Do you need someone to help with your hot flashes? Well, I hope you’re not in a hurry. With the recent budget cuts, firefighters have to come up with new ways to save the taxpayers money. This ingenious device will get them to the scene of the fire, albeit a lot slower. This next photo could be called the firebike, but you can come up with your own name (so I can steal it.)


You had better hope that Lance Armstrong is riding this thing to the scene, or else it’s gonna take a while.

Do you need a discount handyman? Cat stuck in a tree? Are you tired of being one of those dumbasses that leaves your Christmas lights up year-round? You can call this guy for sure. He’ll ride right over and whip out his trailer/ladder thing. He can get to those hard to reach places that you and your step stool cannot. As a bonus, he can volunteer part time with the dude on the firefighter bike. Bonus.


I bet that’s a bitch to make turns in heavy traffic.

Well, you asked for it. Not directly, per se, but by clicking on my blog today you did indeed get what was coming to you. It’s right up there in the title: I am prone to bouts with crap and nonsense. While I hope you enjoyed today’s exhibits, don’t count on seeing it too often. We have to talk about me on this blog, you know. If you didn’t like what you saw today, then you should have known better. After all, it the internets we’re talking about here, so anything is possible. You never know what you might find.

To All Who Served

Unless you live under a rock without access to TV or the internets (um, how are you reading this again?), you must be aware that today is Veterans Day. Some of you may have the day off work, and that’s all you think it is. To others, it’s a day that you realize that the mail won’t get delivered or the bank isn’t open. While all of these things apply, they are certainly not the main focus. As a veteran of the United States Army, I feel I should take a few minutes on my blog to honor my fellow veterans. The bike stuff can wait.


Veterans Day is a day to honor all military veterans here in the United States. There are about 24 million veterans here in the U.S. Other countries also celebrate a form of this called Remembrance Day. So, to our previous members of the Allied Forces, I wish a Happy Remembrance Day to you all. Sometimes it can also be referred to as Armistice Day, but they seem to be all the same (although not all of these countries celebrate the same day as we do here in the U.S.) Please show your respect for veterans in your home country, and thank them for what they did for you. I could throw in several clever catch phrases here, but I won’t. There are plenty of bumper stickers out there to do that for me.


The message is simple: Give thanks to veterans today who served their country honorably during war or peactime.





Thank you.

Cleaning out my closet

I smacked my shin by slipping of the pedal recently. Thought I'd share the experience and while I'm at it show some other photos of the extremes we experience here in FL. The shin kack resulted in a swollen ankle believe it or not. I guess blood doesn't flow well when pedals decide to go medieval on one's shin. It has also put a bit of a damper on my training for the Space Coast Marathon, Florida's oldest marathon.

When one is in the area s/he should check out Kona. The nation's oldest skatepark located in Jacksonville, Fl.

During the late spring early summer lakes and rivers are at they're low point in the Orlando area. Pictured here is the Little Big Econlockhatchee River. Mtn. bikers can access this point via the Jones head trail.

A few months after this photo, Central Florida experienced about 10 days of steady rain. The railing on the bridge in the background was barely visible. Washed out trail anyone?

Saddle Up! We’re Goin’ to the Big Stampede!

I do believe I told y’all that the The Big Stampede Southeast Bike Expo & Swap was coming to town this past weekend. Unfortunately we weren’t headed to the O.K. Corral for some horse wranglin’ and whisky drinkin’. The plan was to drive on over (no covered wagons either) to Lowe's Motor Speedway in Concord, NC, just a few miles from my house in Northeast Charlotte. I woke up Sunday morning, and got ready to head out the door. Not before eating a quick breakfast though.


Mmmmmm. Now that’s what a super-awesome mountain bike racer has for breakfast.

Yep, I had some leftovers from Saturday’s Dirt Divas and Tarheel Trailblazers year-end party. Lunchbox hooked us up by bringing home a ton of sandwiches to enjoy later. It’s like having a party that lasts all week! If only I could have brought home some of that beer though. Well, Actually I did bring some home, but I peed it out. There, are you happy? As I got ready to head out the door, Little Miss Sunshine was preparing her own (probably much better) breakfast. I stood there for a moment and contemplated staying home to enjoy some good ol’ home cookin’.


Hopefully she’s grabbing the milk instead of the wine.

While the temptation of Pumpkin Pancakes almost kept me home, I decided it should get out for some bike part shopping. I am the designated parts acquisition technician for the B-43 household, so Little Miss Sunshine had no intention of attending this fine event. That meant that she had no say in what I bought for her, but it also meant that I had no restrictions on what I could buy for me. I grabbed a huge wad of cash, Mr. Lunchbox, and headed out to the speedway.



We drove to the infield of the speedway, which I imagine is the Holy Land for NASCAR types. We were ill equipped for race spectating, since I forgot my cooler full of crappy beer, lawn chairs, and oh yeah, I didn’t drive the RV. I guess we would just have to settle for the bicycle-part flea market. We arrived at the gate, and there was a guy charging admission to the event. Admission? I have to pay five bucks for the pleasure of shopping for used bike parts? Sweet. And, in addition to money, we had to sign a form in case we wanted to sue them. I guess it’s very dangerous on a NASCAR track when it’s full of cyclists peddling their wares. Wait, cyclists pedaling where?


Lunchbox signs his life away.

We headed over to the garage area, which was full of tables set up buffet-style for my parts buying pleasure. We initially gazed over the selection one booth at a time, but we didn’t really look in detail. We would take a closer look later. I just had to take it all in.



After our first pass through, I got a call from the Dirty Party Cycle. He was on site and ready to tear this place up looking for deals. Now we had a three man team, and we could find the best deals more effectively. There were so many unique things to buy; I didn’t know where to start. Maybe I needed a new bike.


Ummm, I didn’t ask about New Zealand. I was very afraid.

There were trinkets galore, but nothing really stood out. That’s not entirely true I guess, since the crazy bikes they had on display were standing out quite well. I was amazed at the selection of not-so-normal bicycles.


You’ll have to keep away from the Pandas when you’re on this one.


This is the Technicolor vomit bike. I was sick just looking at it.


I managed to find a few deals here and there. I found a water bottle cage for Tigger, Little Miss Sunshine’s trusty KHS. The guy gave it to us since he didn’t have change for a twenty. Sweet! I also found some riding glasses with interchangeable lenses for Lunchbox, along with some socks for his gigantic feet. My best find was a set of Crank Brothers Candy pedals for the low low price of $30. I didn’t really need them, but I figured, “What the hell?” The DPC got a few deals as well, including some really nice gloves for a steal of a deal. We were all satisfied with our treasure. We took one last look around to see if we had missed anything.



Nope, we’re good. I think we had all the wheeling and dealing that we could stand. That’s a good thing, since we had a surprise waiting for us outside. We heard the roar of engines, and saw that there was some track driving action happening. I don’t think it was full on redneck NASCAR action, but the cars looked the same to me.



They were taking practice laps or something. I have to admit, it was kinda neat to watch them drive around for a few laps. Secretly though, I was hoping for a crash. Maybe that’s why we had to sign a waiver. Hmmm. No crashes, but I got a few more photos.





What a nice day for shopping. I didn’t really need anything, but where’s the fun in shopping when you need stuff? I found a few deals, as did my associates. There was something for everyone. We saw mountain bikers, roadies, tandem lovers, comfort bike people, and a wild assortment of others. Hell, even the girl-jean wearing bike messenger crowd was represented.


Please shoot me if I ever look like that.

I guess I will have to wait until next year for this kind of fun. That’s a bummer, because I could do this every weekend. I guess I’ll stick to perusing the old parts bins at my local shops for some bargains. The good thing about the Stampede is that I don’t feel so icky when I’m digging through stuff. Maybe the “flea market” thing felt so natural because I was at a NASCAR track. All I needed was some Busch beer. Yuck.

Party Time!

Saturday was the annual Dirt Divas and Tarheel Trailblazers year-end party at Anne Springs Close Greenway in Fort Mill, South Carolina. I woke up early in the morning with Little Miss Sunshine, although this day we would go our separate ways. She headed up to Chapel Hill, NC with her friend to partake in some college football goodness. After she left, I got Lunchbox up out of bed, and we started getting ready for our day. Clark and Goose were loaded up, and then we headed out to South Carolina.


Okay, I cheated. It's only twenty minutes away.

We arrived at Anne Springs on a beautiful, sunny fall day. The parking lot was filling up fast, even though we were a little early. There were several mountain bikers milling about.



Lunchbox and I changed into our riding gear and headed up to the barn to find out what was on the agenda. The group rides were scheduled to start at 2:00 p.m., followed by the food at 5:00 or so. After a little socializing with some of the regulars, we gathered near the barn to form our groups for the group ride. They divided up into three groups, based upon skill level and riding experience.


The ladies were discussing the groups.


The intermediate group was starting to form.

I ended up in the intermediate group, mostly because I didn’t feel like maintaining a “race pace” during the “party” ride. My race season is pretty much over, and I haven’t begun my training for next season. I figured I would let the “Hot Rod” riders get on it without my company. I wasn’t interested in setting any world record lap times.anyway. Besides, Lunchbox was also riding in the intermediate group, so I would be able to have a little quality bike time with him. I was excited. He is a pleasure to ride with.


Some people were making their group choices at the last minute.

Our group eventually took off, and we started out at a nice pace. I rode behind Lunchbox for most of the ride, giving him tips and advice. I’m sure he thought I was a pain in the ass. Anywho, we stopped every once in a while to let the group well, regroup, and we made some good progress on the trail. The Divas really did a great job as ride leaders, and gave encouragement whenever they could. At one point, we divided the group up into two subgroups, which ended the together time for Lunchbox and I. My group took one of the harder loops, while the second group took more of a straight shot back to the barn. We blasted through the remaining trail, but we all had to stop when one of our riders got a flat tire.



He changed the tire in record time, and we were on our way again. Not thirty feet later though, the same rider decided he wanted to test out the bicycle tolerance of a small babyhead on the trail. Not to anyone’s surprise, the babyhead won. He flew through the air in a glorious fashion, sending his bike floating through the air in a completely different direction. After we realized he was unscathed, we laughed our asses off. He hopped right back on his bike and acted like nothing happened. We couldn’t hide our laughter. My only regret is that I had already put away my camera. Damn.

We were really close to the end at that point, and we very quicly met up with the group that had Lunchbox in it. He informed me that he also had a flat tire, but he was ill equipped to fix said flat tire. Some other trail rider came to his rescue, no charge. I guess I should hook him up with a repair kit for future rides. We finally made it to the fire road that leads to the barn, and after 9 miles, the ride was over. We all had a great time. I think Lunchbox was ready to eat now.



We arrived back at the barn and saw a lot more people than before. There were lots of small kids running to and fro, and they were having fun riding around. What the hell? Who has fun riding somewhere other than a trail? I don’t get it. That’s crazy if you ask me. I guess they aren’t old enough to learn that mountain biking is serious business. So seriously, don’t let your kids ride anywhere but the trail. I’m serious about that too. Seriously.



We put away our trusty bicycles, and headed for the barn. There was a table set up at the entrance, and they were selling raffle tickets. I was told that if you don’t win a prize in this raffle, then you are just a loser. Behind the table, there was beer. I bought several raffle tickets and drank several beers. I was a winner already!

Our club president was deciding how many beers he can drink after he buys some tickets.


Wow, that’s a lot of prizes.

After settling down in the barn, the food had been set out for our consumption. We moseyed over to the food table and piled lots o’ munchies on our plates. The crowd had increased exponentially by the time we got our food. Luckily we had some cool people save us some seats.




Nice spread.

Race promoter extraordinaire Neal Boyd assumed the MC duties, while Lunchbox was by his side (as usual) for the pride awarding ceremony. He withdrew tickets from the jar, and Neal announced the winners. It was a fun time, and we made out pretty well.



I ended up winning some socks and gloves, which were immediately donated to Little Miss Sunshine. We also won an air pump, which is fitting since Lunchbox needs to learn how to change flats. We also won two helmets and a Kona baseball cap. Wow, I really am a winner!

As the night wound down, people slowly started to head home. Lunchbox and I were in no hurry, since Little Miss Sunshine would be home late from the game. We hung around for a bit to enjoy a nice warm fire on a cold starry night. Good times.



We would live to ride another day. Peace out.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE!

Thought I'd throw in some Florida pics while the boys were down at Anne Springs. We like mtn. biking and skateboarding down here as much as you fellas like it up there but one thing we like that makes us unique is our penchant for singing sandwiches. (Fakie rock on the hip at the Orlando pool. We love La Bamba.)

The Lakeland trails are comprised of ~ 1/2 mile loops called "fingers" that are made from an abandoned limestone quarry. The gators will get you if the steep drops and tight trails don't get you first. (Right) Santos is much larger and accommodates riders from the beginner with long flat rides as well as free-riders who regularly ride off the rock face shown. (Left) Skinnies, rock gardens, and tight twisty trails await at Santos. (Below)

The Big Stampede

Okay, I’m not really doing a post today about a bunch of crazy horses. I mean, things are slow around here at B-43, but not that slow. I’m talking about The Big Stampede Southeast Bike Expo & Swap being held this Sunday at Lowe's Motor Speedway. It’s basically a giant swap meet where you can find all kinds of bicycling-related crap and nonsense. And you probably know by now, crap and nonsense is our specialty around here. They have old and new stuff for sale and trade, and there are many bargains to be found. I figured it’s an interesting way to spend a Sunday morning. I may just find something I can’t live without. Tune in Monday to find out.


This Saturday is the big Tarheel Trailblazers and Dirt Divas year-end party. It is held at Anne Springs Close Greenway in Fort Mill, South Carolina. We’ll start out with a trail ride and end with food and some malted beverages. This will be my first one. I’ve always had scheduling conflicts before (I’m just that busy I guess), so I am looking forward to it. Lunchbox and I will be in attendance. Little Miss Sunshine is taking a trip that day to Chapel Hill, NC to attend the UNC-Duke football contest. I know she will have a great time. Everyone will miss her at the party though.

Now that you have my tentative weekend schedule, I guess I should give you some entertainment. Here are some stupid things I’ve collected on the Internets. Yes, I am an Internets Art Collector in my spare time. Enjoy.


Very secure. Don’t even try to steal it.



The ultimate commuter/grocery getter.



I guess parts are hard to come by wherever that guys lives.



This is another example of a commuter bike. Just look at the storage capacity. Wow.



I’ve been workin’ on the railroad…

There. I hope you enjoyed my small, yet slightly hilarious collection. See you Monday.