Thursday, December 20, 2012

You Like Me Because I’m A Scoundrel

You know, because there aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.

As we approach the end of the year, most people usually look back at what they’ve accomplished.  I don’t feel like getting into that just yet, so I won’t.  For now, I’m sticking with my motto…

Who gives a shit.

It was a long season, and next year will probably be more of the same.  Things are looking up though, especially when I nailed down what the hell I’m gonna be wearing when I race next year.

Uh, wait.

Instead of begging a local shop team to let me join them so I can be more serious, I’ve gone the opposite way.  I didn’t want Strava-using douchebag teammates that only talk about training rides, lactate thresholds, and heart rate monitors.  That kinda stuff is bullshit to me.  I like to drink beer (and lots of it), and I just can’t see giving that up to be more “competitive.”  Sure, I get on the podium from time to time, and the fact that I do it with little to no training makes it that much better.  Is there a “team” out there that doesn’t mind me drinking my ass off and throwing in the occasional mountain bike race?


My search was over when I talked to a friend of mine out in Arizona.  After a tense negotiation, I had found some new colors to wear for next season.  A few days later, I got a new jersey in the mail.

Yup, the folks over at Drunk Cyclist fit into my plans nicely.  I don’t have to cut back my beer intake, and I sure as hell don’t have to start training.  I can achieve the same mediocre results by doing the same mediocre shit.  And, I’ll look good doing it. 

I’m still down with Bike29 by the way (because George is my hero), but I was looking to supplement my riding gear for the upcoming season.  DC and Bike29 have a lot in common, and George was the main reason I ended up meeting the fine folks from AZ in the first place.  We can still be one big, happy family. 

I dig that.

You wanna look as good as I do when you’re out riding?  You can get your own jersey and play along too.  You won’t be as fast as I am or be able to drink as many beers, by I guaran-damn-tee that you’ll feel better when you’re riding hungover.

Click here and order one for yourself.

I’m gonna go drink some beer and start training.

Shit, I mean, I’ll start working on my maneuvers.


Dwayne said...

Dude...that jersey makes me wanna give up my training rides, lactate thresholds and heart rate monitors!!!

TheMutt said...

Do it!