Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Getting Ready For Something

Since I still haven’t made a decision about the Tree Shaker (I’m close though), I figured I would go ahead and make plans for next “season.” I know, you’re wondering why the hell I won’t commit to a race that’s mere days away but I’ll look ahead to next year. That might sound like some screwed up logic, but I assure you it’s not. There are plenty of races on the calendar that I could just show up and “compete” in, but there is one particular race that I had to register for as soon as possible. Confused? Well, I’m talking about the 6 Hours of Warrior Creek.

Yup, I’ve already signed up for 6 hours of fun on some of the best singletrack in North Carolina. Why did I sign up some six months ahead of time? Well, last year I barely made the cut since they sold out so quickly, so this year I wasn’t about to miss out. Registration opened up last Friday, and I was one of the first to sign up. It’s a good thing I did, because they sold out yet again. In fact, they opened up registration again over the weekend for 50 additional entries, and those sold out too. For once I committed to something well in advance. Now, if I could only do that for the Tree Shaker.

Speaking of the Tree Shaker (and why not I might add), I’m as ready as I can be. I tested out my lights again, this time with fresh battery power. I should be shining bright in the night should I choose to do the whole 12 hours. Last night I took The Big O over to Sherman Branch, just for a little tune up action. I was hoping that nothing would break, bend, or otherwise cause me any mechanical discomfort during the race, and again all is well. Just in case I have some kind of mishap, I’ll be bringing along a spare bike. Yep, my Diamondback Sortie 3 (better known as Goose) will be there in case I decide to break something on my 29er (or I feel like taking a break and riding on some cushy suspension.) I shouldn’t have to use it though, since The Big O is ready to rumble. Oh yeah, I failed to mention it but I finally got the tire that I needed the other day:

Yep, the fine folks over at Bike29 came through for me (I knew they would.) Even though I wasn’t paying attention and ordered my tire while they were away, George busted his ass to get my (and everyone else’s) order out pronto. In fact, the day I realized I screwed up, I saw this on the Bike29 Blog:

First off, I’d like to extend my gratitude to anyone who has ordered anything from me over the last week. I will be working furiously to ship it all out tomorrow. I also would like to offer my apology for anyone who was not helped by my absence. It wasn’t easy being away for this long during a busy time.

Man, I felt bad about that. I hope everyone else that ordered stuff from them was as patient as I was. I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus, especially since I knew that I would get my goods in time. Being the nice guy that I heard he was, George even threw in a little bonus with my tire shipment:

He must have realized how much I love beer, and my need to keep said beer cold while I work on my bikes. It was very much appreciated.

While I was perusing the Bike29 Blog yesterday, I saw an interesting post, accompanied by a photo:

The post said that they were looking for some more fine folks to join the Bike29 team. The only requirements I saw were 1) You must ride a 29er (check, well most of the time anyway), and 2) You must be over the age of 21 (double check, well almost.) I’d have to send them an e-mail stating why I think I would be a good fit for the team. After thinking about it, here’s what I came up with:

Dear Glorious, All-Knowing Purveyor of Big-Wheeled Bikes and Accessories,

Please consider me for the Bike29 Team. I already have my own team, but we kind of suck. Sure, I get on the podium at least once a year, but there so much more to me than top 3 finishes. I am a nearly world-famous blogger on the Internets, and I also know Dicky. Wait. Disregard that last part, as that could hurt my chances. Anyway, since I ride a 29er, I'll fit right in with your slogan of “Ride Big Wheels.”

If I was selected for your team, I would talk about you and your products non-stop to the masses out there on the Internets (and at events), and the only thing I would want in return is stickers (I have a beer fridge that needs decorating.) I am an advertising whore for the brands I use, and so far that has worked well for me (and them too.) I’ll add your logo to my blog so my gazillions of followers will see it when they check my site 43 times a day. If that’s not enough then I’ll make sure I scream out “BIKE 29 RULES!” every time I start one of my pathetic races. I’d offer to scream that when I finish, but due to an uncontrollable amount of mechanical issues I’ve faced this season that may not be possible.

In closing, I’d like to say that I am closing this letter. I’m aware that your deadline is October 31st, but you should go ahead and put me on the team before you have time to think about it. Maybe I can get you an extra “Genital Non-Displaying Device” for your trouble (it could be trouble, you know.)


Okay, maybe that’s not the best letter in the world, but it will do. Should I send it out right away? If the letter doesn’t work, then I can use one of my cats to help get the job done:

Her name is Ballsie, which is very appropriate.

See you tomorrow for even more indecision and buffoonery.

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