Swamp Cabbage Man

Being back in the swamp was like home for me and Lunchbox.  So when we ended up deep in the Everglades in the little town of Ochopee, FL we knew it would be fun.  After a quick stop at the Post Office, we stopped in for a visit at the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters.

Skunk Ape?  Yeah.  That's the Florida Bigfoot.  I came prepared.

Bigfoot socks by DeFeet

I've been there quite a few times (most recently last March), but this visit had something new.

That statue may be new, but the Skunk Ape isn't.  The proprietor there has seen the mystical creature several times over the past few decades, so this facility is for real.  It's not just found in the Everglades though, because I've seen it myself.  Back in the early 1990s on a dark night in the swamps east of Orlando, I spotted what us locals call the Swamp Cabbage Man (same creature.)  Hoping to share my story with anyone there that would listen, I was disappointed to be only allowed to talk to someone that didn't even speak English.

Luckily, they have other stuff to do there.  We walked around back, and the kind gentleman there allowed us to play with the critters,  Lunchbox was on it.

Baby gators...

Birds...

And this big ass snek that liked tickles...

It's a fun place to play if you're into that sort of thing (we were obviously.)  We went to the swamp to play with critters and we got our wish.  Although we didn't spot any Bigfoot-like creatures on our visit, we had a great time just the same.  

If you ever find yourself deep in the Everglades for some reason, stop in for a spell and have yourself some real Florida fun.  Not that fake "magical" fun most people do with the "mouse."

And yeah, I'll be back tomorrow with some more swamp stuff.

   

Mountain Fun

Even though I was just in the Uwharries not long ago doing some trail work, I felt the urge to go back.  Not to search for Bigfoot though.  That's pretty easy to find.

 
Srsly though, I just wanted to get back out there again.  Mostly because of how remote and underpopulated it is.

I did a little bit of exploring over on the "other" side of Uwharrie.  I didn't bring a bike this time.  I brought one of my other toys instead.

They haz range.  I haz shotgun.

I know, I know.  This just in:  Southerner shoots up shit in the woods.

Not exactly.  The little lady and I wanted to fire off a few rounds at the range out there.  It's pretty fun to aim from the hip and send hollow point slugs downrange while everyone else uses their fancy scopes and junk.  With that kind of ammo, it's not like I need to be spot on.

But, it's still nice when I get close.

I'm not some gun nut.  I'm a veteran, remember?  The range out there was cool (and cheap too), but the best part of the day was being back out in the "little" mountains.  We enjoyed some local food, the laid back attitudes, and yeah, the shooting.

The scenery is pretty rad too.

I really love that place.  The Uwharries were the first mountains I rode when I moved here.  I guess you can say I'm sorta partial to being out there.

And coming soon, a big bicycle adventure on that side of the forest.  You know, when I actually take a bike out there with me.

I Still Blame Bigfoot

I was on lap two and it hurt like hell

But that’s nothing new.

Doing short distances on local trails and then trying to race a twenty mile cross country event was pretty dumb, but then I remembered that I’m not really all that serious about this shit.  When I finished the first climb on lap two, I started screaming down the fast descents again.  This time though, I had quite a few “oh shit” moments.  That was probably because of my fatigue, but it was still fun as hell.  I was still in third place, and no one was close enough behind me to push my pace.  I slowed down a bit to try to make it through the rest of the race, and I saw another climb up ahead. 

Just then, I saw a guy lying down on the side of the trail.  I asked if he was okay, and he mumbled something about being tired.  I realized that it was the guy in second place I’d been chasing, so that lifted my spirits a bit.  I spun my way up the rest of the climb knowing that I was now in second, hoping that the next downhill section would come sooner than expected.  When it did, I gave it all I had.  It was over way too fast though, and I had to climb another steep hill.

I didn’t know how much longer I could keep it up.

Just before I got to the second section, a guy in my class I hadn’t seen since the start rolled up behind me.  He shouted, “Don’t quit now, Chris!” but I was already burning out.  We crossed a fire road and hit the next section, and my legs were starting to cramp.  I didn’t eat anything while I was out there (even though I took plenty of Honey Stinger products to the race), and I had almost finished the only water bottle I brought.  We came up on a downed tree on the trail, and I knew I couldn’t roll over it in my weakened condition. 

I dismounted to get by, and I got passed because he still had the legs to roll it.  I hurried back on my bike to catch up, but he had a pretty good lead on me.  I pushed as fast as I could on the mostly downhill section, and struggled on the few climbs.  I couldn’t wait for this shit to be over, but I gave everything I had to get myself back in second place.

When I started seeing spectators, I knew I was almost there.  I pushed it again, but never caught up.  I rolled up to the finish line, and my kid was waiting as usual.

I thought I ended up in third, but I found out later that someone had gone by from my class.  I never saw him, but being as tired as I was it didn’t surprise me.  Fourth place overall wasn’t too bad I guess, but having a shot at the middle of the podium and then pissing it away kinda made me upset.  While I’m not too serious about this shit, working my ass off out there and coming up short still bothered me a little bit.

Oh well.

I spent the rest of my time out there wandering around like a zombie.

I was tired, and the trails at Uwharrie had kicked my ass.  I suffered through twenty miles of climbing, fast descents, and cramps, and I still had fun for some reason.  I pushed my limits, and that’s another reason why I like racing.  I could never work so hard on my own.

Now I have a little bit of free time until the next race, which means I can start planning some dumb shit, er training.

We’ll see how that goes.

Bigfoot Kicked My Ass

It was so bad in fact, that I didn’t even drink the beer I brought with me.

Yesterday’s Southern Classic Series race at Uwharrie was rough.  I went out there to have fun, and I actually did for the most part.  However, when I got there I knew I was gonna have a bad time.

It was dry as a camel’s ass in a sandstorm out there, and every tire (bike and motorized) that rode across the roads and trails kicked up a cloud of dust that penetrated my lungs and eyeballs.  I was hurting even before the race started, and me and my bike were covered in a fine powder.

I took a warm up spin on some of the singletrack out there, and I figured that I was ready to go.  We lined up on the fire road and the groups started taking off.  When my group went off, the plan was to take it easy until I got through the first climb and onto the fast downhill stuff.  Of course, I didn’t follow my own plan.

It wasn’t my fault though.  I took off at a “normal” pace, and it seemed really slow.  In the short road section before the trail, I found myself in third place as we hit the trail.

We hit the first of many climbs, and I did my best to pace myself so I didn’t burn out too quickly.  I was still right with the two guys ahead of me, and I even had a chance to pass the guy in second place.  I held back though, because I knew it would be a long race and I probably wouldn’t survive if I pushed it too soon.  Since I didn’t go for the kill (so to speak), I ended up getting passed by the guy in fourth place.  I was still with the group though, and eventually we left the others behind.  I was feeling pretty good, even though I was pushing myself a little more than I wanted.  We hit the first of many fast downhills, and I hauled ass without any regard for my own safety.  I pushed the limits of my handling skills and my bike, and it was fun as hell.  It was that moment that I realized why I actually enjoy racing.

It was also that moment when I passed my friend Todd on the side of the trail.  He was in first place, but a flat tire put him out of commission for a while.  I gained a little energy knowing that I was back in podium contention, and I mashed my way up the rest of the climbs.  I knew for sure that Todd would get his shit fixed and catch back up, so I pushed it even harder to gain a little time.

When I finished that first lap, I wondered if I could make it through a second.  I got up the trail a bit, and I saw Lunchbox hiding in the bushes waiting for me.

I mashed my way up the first climb, and I noticed something strange.  I saw an unusual amount of people walking in the opposite direction:  victims of fatigue, flat tires, and other mechanical issues.  I was shocked at how the trail was beating down the people trying to race on it.  Maybe Bigfoot was out there sabotaging everyone for his own amusement.


I knew I had to work hard just to survive.

Since I’m still pretty worn out from my Uwharrie adventure, I think I’m gonna cut this short and save the rest for tomorrow.  I like to drag out race reports anyway, so why should change that now?  It’s not like it’s that great of a story anyway.

Besides, I think Bigfoot might try to sabotage my post if I continue. 

Work Hard Play Hard

As you can see, my training is going quite well.  While the rest of the racing community is worried about max watts, Strava, caloric intake, and the like, I’m doing what I always do.  I like to have fun, and even though I have a few sponsors, that doesn’t mean that I’m being all serious about this shit.  I love riding bikes, and I’m not about to let hard work and “race training” ruin that for me.

I have been riding though.  In fact, da udda day I got to chase a couple of ladies from a local cycling team around the trail for a few hot laps.

Me on a single speed, chasing those ladies up hill while trying to capture their image with my smartphone counts as training, right?

I’ve also been busy with trail work near my house.  No, not the trail I talked about a few days ago.  It’s the secret one that Lunchbox and I have been working on:  Captain Jim Bob’s Space Adventure.

While we worked our asses of to get the first part done, we’ve actually neglected it for quite some time now.  I got home early from work though, and decided that it was time to head back over there and cut some new trail.  We have tons of land to work with, so I started scouting out where exactly we could put some singletrack.

First though, we had to create another entrance.

It might be a little difficult to see in the photo, but there is a nice rock between those trees to roll over as you go in.  The exit from the first part of the trail puts you out into a field for a few feet, and this will take you right back into the woods.  After clearing out a path, I started roughing out some new trail.

The area is really hilly, so I followed the contour of the hill upwards and across a few natural berms.  It really has a nice flow so far, and it is designed to be ridden in either direction.  It’s gonna be a tough climb, but it will be fun as shit to ride downhill.  I ended up getting quite a bit done out there in a short amount of time, and it’s really starting to turn into something nice.

I’d like to get back out there over the weekend to get some more work done, and it just might happen.  I pretty much have all day Saturday free if I want, but Sunday I have something else in mind.

I’m going out to hunt for Bigfoot.

Yep, race number nine in the Southern Classic Series is at the Uwharrie National Forest.  It’s one of my new favorite places to ride, and I’m looking forward to it.  There is a shitload of climbing on the nine mile course, with plenty of super fast downhill.  I should be good and worn out after two laps out there, but luckily it’s kinda close to home (so I can get back in a hurry to drink some beer.) 

How will I do?

Who knows.

How about, who gives a shit.

I’m just out there to have fun.

The Hunt For Bigfoot

He’s a scary looking sumbitch, huh?


On my trip to the Uwharrie Mountains da udda day, we searched the forest for the fabled Sasquatch. Rumor has that there’s one out there, and I’m trying my best to find one. We took to the mountain bikes and searched the trails for evidence.




Okay, we pretty much just rode our bikes out there. Bigfoot must have been hiding, or he’s way faster than us on two wheels. Bastard.


That’s it for today. I’m taking the easy way out with the video, so watch it again and pretend I wrote a whole bunch of words. See y’all tomorrow.

Cram It All In

Well, I wouldn’t call it stupid, but I did ride quite a bit over the weekend. In fact, it was way too much for someone that isn’t supposed to be taking all of this shit seriously. I guess I’ll work backwards, starting with yesterday (which really wasn’t that serious.)


I started off yesterday with a little road ride, just to loosen my legs a little. It wasn’t an epic ride by any means, but I did push myself pretty hard while I was out. It was probably a bad idea, because I had other plans later on.




Yup, that’s right. Uwharrie. The recently reworked trails in the Uwharrie National Forest were my destination yesterday. Since it’s one of my favorite places to ride, I couldn’t pass up the invitation to ride there (thanks to Dennis and Tom.) They are small mountains, but mountains nonetheless.



I didn’t go there to study the ancient history of the Uwharries or search for Bigfoot (okay, I did). The main reason was to ride. I made my way back to the camp, which also doubles as the trailhead.



Down the long, lonely fire road.



Eventually I made it. Back in the day, I used to park at the road and ride the one and a half miles down the road to get to the trailhead. It’s so much better now that we can park down by the trail head (and avoid the boring fire road ride.)



We had a pretty good sized group, and we eventually made our way onto the trail. It wasn’t a race pace by any means, but it’s hard to maintain that kind of pace when the climbs kick your ass anyway. The best part about climbing for so long? Super fast, ears pinned back downhill. There are berms, slick rock, and wide open spaces, which give you plenty of opportunities to haul ass.





What about the ride? Yeah, it was good. I’ve been riding out there for years, but it’s way more fun now. And to top it off, it was 63 degrees around here. That is unheard of in January, so I’m glad I took advantage of it.


I did a little more “training” over the weekend, but as usual you’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

So Close, But It Seemed So Far Away

Saturday, I went to one of my favorite places to visit in the state, the Uwharrie National Forest. I wasn’t there for pleasure though.



Photo cred: Space Cowboy

Yes, I volunteered my time and first aid skills to the Rivers Edge Mountain Bike Marathon. While a hurricane churned out on the coast, we weren’t really affected. The sky at my house looked pretty cool though:



Anyway, the racers gathered around, getting ready to ride for fifty miles in one of the toughest places around here. Lots of climbing, lots of sharp rocks, and plenty of fun downhill. Everyone paid attention to the promoter when he talked about the race course:



“Bigfoot is over that way, so make sure you stay on the course.”


The rest of the crowd was stunned when they heard about the North Carolina Bigfoot:



The Space Cowboy didn’t give a shit though, since he isn’t scared of anything. Well, unless you count butterflies and women’s lingerie.



Even my “usually sleeps ‘til noon” teenager was there.



Lunchbox had never ridden Uwharrie before, so I made it a point to drag him out on the trail during the race. First though, we waited for everyone to get out the first lap so we wouldn’t get in the way. Here are a few of my racing pals:



My buddy Daniel would later regret riding a fully-rigid singlespeed out there.

I kinda got a photo of the MadSS, but I pulled the trigger too late.



After everyone started spreading out, Lunchbox and I got out on the trail. We climbed, we descended, and we wore ourselves out. We stopped quite a bit to let other riders go by, and we cheered for them too. I was out on the trail to make sure everyone stayed safe, and also to help anyone that got hurt during the race. That didn’t mean I couldn’t have fun though.


We rode the whole course, and ran into a few friends along the way. The only assistance I had to provide was to a fellow “casual rider.” No one got hurt out there, or if they did it wasn’t bad enough to require my help. I think Little Miss Sunshine put a band aid on one dude’s leg, so she wasn’t busy either. For such a tough race course, I’m really surprised that it wasn’t worse. I’ll take it though.


I love Uwharrie. The trails are tough, yet fun. I realized on Saturday that I just don’t ride out there enough. That will change though. So what if Bigfoot lives out there. He didn’t show up during the race, even though someone setup a nice table full of goodies for him.



I know he’s out there in the forest though, and I’ll keep my eyes peeled the next time I head over that way.

Group Rides Are Fun

Saturday was kind of a first for me. A big group ride. I normally just show up and ride somewhere, and if other people happen to ride along with me it’s cool. This time though, I actually made plans to meet up with a group of Tarheel Trailblazers and Dirt Divas for a ride in the Uwharrie National Forest. You know, the place where that guy is hunting for Bigfoot. Even though I was only there to ride my mountain bike, I secretly wished that I would catch a glimpse of that infamous creature.


I did a lot of riding out there, which means not too many “action” photographs. I pulled out my camera every time we stopped, in hopes of getting some kind of digital riding images. Mostly I only got some group rest shots.





After quite a bit of fun “mountain” riding, we came up to a creek crossing. I found a good spot to take photos, and a few people from our group went across.











I didn’t even get much scenery, since those pesky trees were blocking the little mountain tops.



The ride was fun, and it didn’t wear me out too bad. I did have some tire issues, but I’ll talk about that another day. We climbed a lot, took some super fast, ears pinned back downhill stuff, and took a few breaks to regroup and socialize. I really enjoyed myself out there, and I’m making a point to attend more of these kinds of group rides. Riding alone for training sucks, so it’s nice to suffer along with other people on two wheels. In fact, it takes away from the suffering a bit and makes it feel less like training.


On my way out, I did get a few scenic photos though:









These were taken when I stopped at a local vineyard to pick up some wine for Little Miss Sunshine.





We rode out there for a few hours, and I didn’t see Bigfoot. I was a little disappointed, until I started to drive away from the Uwharrie National Forest. Check this out:



Told ya he was there. Next time I’ll bring an extra bike for him to use. Do you think he would prefer riding Big Wheels?